Okay, so the last three posts I've been writing in some kind of freeform poem format, and I guess I should at least clarify my situation. I won't give out my name or address for safety's sake, but I'll try to- explain myself.
I am a sophomore in high school, and I have a slightly below-average work ethic. It's not entirely my fault, but I have a low B average most of the year. I enjoy acting in theatrical productions- school, community, paying. I've- well, I've tried getting a job, but they won't let me. I'm talking about my town. Many people in my town are homophobic, or racist, or otherwise, and their bigotry is hidden behind closed doors and loopholes, behind the shielding of those who hide their hatrid and those who are against it, but too afraid to stand up.
I guess it goes without saying. And I aren't afraid to admit it. I'm gay. I guess I'm not afraid to say it because, well, I'm not giving away my name or address. They can't find me. They can't hurt me unless they know who I am.
What am I saying? They hurt me anyways. They beat me and they yell at me and I feel like I'm stuck in a rut because I chose to think differently.
...what do I do? I can't go to my parents, can I? No, they'll probably hate me, too. They'd yell at me and beat me and I already get enough of that everywhere. I can't see a therapist... no, he or she would hate me too.
I feel like I'm trapped in a rut. And I can't escape. There's no way out except that way out. And like hell am I trying that. Not... not yet anyways.
I'll try to find a way out. I have to.
I need to.
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